


The Secret Admirer

by luxbuhree



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: A lot of pining from Ryan, Brief mention of other people, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, Secret Admirer who is not Ryan, Valentines' Day, fluffy af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 09:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14951993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxbuhree/pseuds/luxbuhree
Summary: When Shane starts getting Valentine's Day gifts from a secret admirer, Ryan tries his best to fight off his jealousy.After all, they were just friends.





	The Secret Admirer

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know it's far from February but I just got this idea and I had to write it. Enjoy!

**__ **

Ryan took in the decorations strung up inside the BuzzFeed building. There were red and pink streamers hanging on the ceiling, large cut-out hearts plastered on the walls, and silly posters with cheesy pick-up lines printed on them. He couldn’t help but smile brightly. Valentine’s Day was his favorite holiday. There was something about the love-filled atmosphere and general giddiness that made his heart soar. Not to mention, he got to sit next to the person he loved, albeit secretly.

 

He made his way to his work space, his chest filling with deep longing and adoration at the thought of his best friend — _Shane Alexander Madej._ He had been in love with him for some time now. At first, he tried to deny his feelings; he chalked it up to platonic affection. But as time passed, he realized that there was no denying it anymore. Ryan loved him, and that was that. He never acted on his feelings, though. It was obvious that it was one-sided. There was no point in getting his hopes up — and so he contented himself with just being Shane’s friend.

 

Ryan spotted Shane as he drew nearer. The latter was chatting it up with Steven and Jen. All three of them were hunched up over Shane’s desk, as if inspecting something.

 

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Ryan greeted the trio. They all turned to him and greeted him back. He only had eyes for Shane, though. In a light pink button-down and dark denim jeans, Shane looked stunningly adorable. He was smiling at Ryan, his eyes crinkled up as they always did when he was genuinely happy.

 

“What’s with the group meeting?” he followed-up. Ryan was embarrassed at how out of breath he sounded. Shane’s smile was so beautiful that it had caught him off guard. He cleared his throat and waited for an answer.

 

Steven and Jen looked meaningfully at each other, then at Shane. A silent conversation passed among them. Shane shrugged and gave them a nod.

 

“Why are you guys being so sketchy?” Ryan asked ruefully.

 

“Our dear pal, Shane, seems to have a secret admirer,” Steven told him in a casual voice, as if this was something that happened every day.

 

“What? Who?” Ryan spat out frantically.

 

“We don’t know. That’s why it’s called _secret_ admirer,” Jen snorted. “But they did leave this fabulous gift for him.”

 

On Shane’s desk was a bouquet of bright sunflowers and a heart-shaped box of chocolates with a note taped on top. _‘Sweets for the sweet,’_ it had written on it.

_‘Typical Valentine’s Day presents,’_ Ryan thought unkindly.

 

“I can’t imagine who’d fall for this funky looking guy,” Ryan joked to mask his anger. “They must be blind.”

 

“What are you talking about, Ryan?” Shane quipped. He gestured to his body. “Anyone would die to get a piece of this.”

 

“Yeah, maybe if you’re into string beans,” he snorted.

 

“Steven — Jen — would you want some of me?” Shane asked the two, making a ridiculously provocative pose. All of them roared with laughter.

 

“Leave us out of this,” Steven finally got out. “You two can work it out.”

 

He waved goodbye, and pulling Jen by the arm, left Ryan and Shane standing there. 

 

“So, secret admirer, huh?” Ryan teased. “Any guesses who it could be?”

 

Shane shook his head. “Not yet, but I appreciate the gesture. It’s been so long since anyone’s done something sweet for me.”

 

Ryan’s chest tightened. He had always tried to go out of his way to show he cared for his best friend. There was that time he drove up to Shane’s house at 1 in the morning because Shane had suddenly gotten sick. Or the time when he taught himself morse code overnight for Shane, who had been complaining that he had no one to practice with. And there were the little things too: getting him coffee during late night shifts, driving him home even if he lived in the opposite direction, or simply being there when he was stressed. Ryan never felt the need to rub all he did in Shane’s face. He loved him so much that doing these things was second nature. But it did hurt to think that Shane didn’t realize it.

 

“Well, good luck,” Ryan told him, forcing a smile on his face. “I hope you find out who it is soon.”

 

Shane returned the smile. “Thanks, Ry.”

 

***********

 

The morning passed quickly. Not much conversation transpired between the two. Ryan was busy writing a script for a new episode of Unsolved, and Shane was preoccupied in researching for Ruining History. When lunchtime tolled in, both of them were ravenous.

 

“Wanna grab a bite at Chipotle?” Ryan suggested to him.

 

Before Shane could answer, Kelsey cut in.

 

“Hi, Ryan! Hi, Shane!” she greeted cheerfully. “Shane, I was asked to give this to you. It’s from your secret admirer. Bye!”

 

She thrust a plastic bag to him. Then, just as quickly as she arrived, she was gone.

 

“What is that?” Ryan asked in what he hoped was a supportive tone. He didn’t like the enamored smile that Shane had on his face as he stared at the bag.

 

Shane peered inside. “It’s take-out from Chipotle. Look, here’s a note.” He handed it to Ryan to read as he inspected the contents.

 

“ _Here’s some lunch to brighten up your day_ ,” Ryan read.

 

He bit down on his tongue, not trusting himself to speak.

 

“They’re really out-doing this whole secret admirer thing,” he commented carefully. “At least you don’t have to pay for your lunch today.”

 

“Come on, Ryan,” Shane smiled. “There’s a ton of food here. We can share. You wanted to get Chipotle anyway.”

 

“Nah, I’m not that hungry after all.” Ryan returned the note to him and stood up. “I need to use the bathroom real quick.”

 

He brisk-walked out of there. Once he had rounded the corner, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. His heart was beating alarmingly fast. He wanted to find the secret admirer, scream that Shane was his, and then rip them to shreds. His throat tightened as he remembered how Shane smiled when he received the package. He wanted to be the only one Shane smiled at like that. Suddenly, he was racked with guilt at being so selfish.

 

“Get a grip on yourself, Bergara,” he told himself. “It’s not their fault that you’re too much of a coward to tell Shane how you really feel. You don’t own him. Just be happy that he’s happy.”

 

Ryan took another few seconds to compose himself. Once he was feeling himself again, he made his way back to the desk. Shane was staring at him as he approached.

 

“You okay?” Shane asked.

 

He answered by grabbing a burrito from the bag. “Sorry about earlier. My head was hurting a bit, but it’s okay now.” He tore off a chunk from the burrito. “You have a good admirer out there, Madej — I’m happy for you. Maybe you should give them a chance.”

 

He expected Shane to throw him a witty remark about being too cheesy, or even that Shane would punch him in the arm or something. What he didn’t expect was the flash of intense sadness in his eyes. It happened so fast that Ryan wondered if he had imagined it.

 

“Maybe I will,” Shane answered with a deep chuckle.

 

There was no trace of sadness in his tone or on his face. Maybe Ryan _did_ just imagine it.

 

 ***********  

 

It was an hour before quitting time. Most of the employees were packing up — some had even left already. Obviously, those were the people who actually had someone to be with this Valentine’s.

 

Ryan and Shane were coming back from a meeting about Unsolved. They chattered enthusiastically about the new developments they had discussed with the producers.

 

Their conversation was interrupted by someone calling Shane’s name. They looked toward the direction of the voice and saw Jen waving her arms at them. Steven was by her side.

 

“Shane, there’s something at your desk! One final gift, I suppose,” Steven informed him once they reached them

 

All four of them walked back to Shane’s desk. Ryan was mentally telling himself to suck it up and keep calm. He trailed slightly behind the others, not eager to find out what Shane’s admirer had done this time.

 

“Awww,” Shane, having got there first, gushed. Steven and Jen also began babbling about how cute the gift was.

 

Ryan pushed past them to see the gift for himself. There was a medium-sized polar bear stuffed toy holding a red plush heart. A small handmade card was next to it. On the cover was a drawing of a polar bear with heart eyes. Ryan opened the card to see a pick-up line written inside. It read _‘I only have ICE for you!’_.

 

“What do you think?” Shane asked him. There was a curious smile playing on his lips.

 

“Whoever this is, they’re an idiot,” Ryan snorted. “Polar bears are apex predators that can decapitate you with one swing of a paw. Imagine walking up to a polar bear because someone tried to paint them as cute and cuddly creatures? Such bullshit. Shane, your admirer is obviously trying to get you killed.”

 

“Woah, calm down, Bergara,” Shane said as he held his hands up in mock defeat. “I have no plans whatsoever of approaching a polar bear. I can assure you of that.”

 

“Why are you so mad?” Steven asked, his head tilted to the side. “Are you jealous?”

 

Ryan sputtered and blushed. “Jealous? Me? Why would I be? Shane’s not my boyfriend! People are free to give him Valentine’s Day gifts.”

 

Steven smirked. “I meant that maybe you were jealous about not having a secret admirer of your own. Funny how your mind immediately went to the other end of the spectrum.”

 

“I— I’m—” Ryan stammered.

 

“Try not to hurt yourself,” Jen teased, earning a scathing look from him.

 

“Guys, come on,” Shane interrupted. He put an arm around Ryan’s shoulder. “We’re best friends. We’ll always be friends.”

 

Ryan felt a sharp pain in his chest. He glanced down, expecting to see a knife lodged in him. Turns out it was just Shane’s words. Though he felt like crying, he put on an abnormally large smile and looked up at his _friend_.

 

“Yeah, that’s right,” he said, his heart cracking with each word. “Just friends.”

 

Having said that, he shrugged off Shane’s arm and backed away from them slowly.

 

“I just remembered, I have a thing I need to do at home,” Ryan told them, as he hastily gathered his things. “Catch you tomorrow.” He didn’t bother waiting for a reply before he bounded off to the exit.

 

Once he was sure he was out of their sight, he allowed himself to release the whimper he had been holding in. His vision began to blur as tears formed in his eyes.

 

“Christ, Bergara,” he scolded himself. “You’re acting like a teenage boy with a stupid crush. Don’t you dare fucking cry.”

 

It was no use. The first few tears fell quietly as he reached his car in the dimly-lit parking lot. His hand shook badly as he tried to get his _stupid_ car keys in the _stupid_ key hole — he kept on missing by inches. Frustrated, he kicked at the car door. His chest heaved as he tried to stifle his sobs. His tears began to fall even faster.

 

“Ryan?” he heard from behind him. He could recognize that voice in his sleep.

 

Hurriedly wiping his tears, he turned to face Shane, who was a few meters away from him. He hoped that the mild darkness would hide the fact that he had been crying.

 

“Yeah?” Ryan answered cheerfully. He shoved his hands in his pockets to stop them from trembling.

 

“Are you okay?” Shane asked, taking a step forward.

 

Ryan took a step back. “Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Shane narrowed his eyes. “Then you wouldn’t mind if I came nearer?”

 

“Nope,” Ryan gulped.

 

He moved closer until they were only a foot apart.

 

“You’ve been crying,” Shane said, reaching out to wipe a stray tear from Ryan’s face. Ryan jerked away from his hand.

 

“Shane, what do you want?” he asked. “Shouldn’t you be meeting your secret admirer? Don’t keep ‘em waiting.”

 

“Ryan —” he trailed off. “Don’t get mad, okay?”

 

“Why? What did you do?”

 

Shane chewed on his lip. “Look, there’s no secret admirer. I made it up.”

 

“ _What?_ ” Ryan said sharply. “But what about all those gifts…”

 

“They were all from me. I asked Jen, Steven, and Kelsey to help me, okay? But don’t be mad at them. It was my plan.”

 

“Why would you do that? Why would you lie about having an admirer?” Ryan demanded.

 

“I just wanted to see how you’d react,” Shane finally admitted.

 

Ryan began to see red. He crossed the one step to Shane and shoved him _hard_. Shane stumbled backward and almost fell.

 

“So this was a prank?” Ryan seethed. “ _Ha. Ha. Ha._ You got me good.”

 

“No, it’s not li—” he cut him off.

 

“I guess you knew I loved you all this time, huh? Guessed you think it’d be funny to play with my feelings? We’re best friends after all, right?” Ryan shouted at him. Without realizing it, tears had begun to spill on his cheeks again.

 

“Ryan Steven Bergara!” Shane yelled loudly. His voice echoed around the almost empty parking lot.

 

He shut up, surprised more than anything at Shane’s sudden outburst.

 

“Listen to me,” Shane told him gently. He grabbed Ryan’s shoulders. “I’m in love with you.”

 

Ryan looked up at him, his mouth opened in surprise.

 

“I always hoped you felt the same way. Sometimes, I even convinced myself that you did. But I didn’t know for sure,” Shane continued. “I wanted to know if you cared if I showed interest in someone else, so I staged this stupid secret admirer gig. When you walked away during lunch, I was _sure_ you cared, but then you came back and said you wanted me to give my admirer _a chance_. I thought I misread the signs. I felt so stupid.”

 

“I just didn’t want to be selfish,” Ryan whispered. His heart was beating a thousand times per minute. “I didn’t want to hold you to something that I thought only existed in my mind.”

 

“Now you know that it’s not just in your mind,” Shane smiled. “This is real.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why go through all this trouble?”

 

“Why didn’t you?”

 

Ryan realized the answer. They had both been scared of losing what they already had. This thought made him giggle furiously.

 

“Ryan? Have you finally lost it?” Shane shook him in concern.

 

Ryan’s giggle turned into full-on laughter. Shane looked horrified, but after a few moments, he started laughing too.

 

“W—we’re so stupid,” Ryan wheezed out. “We’re like a cliché soap opera.”

 

“I know. We went through so much drama,” Shane got out in between his laughter.

 

Eventually, their laughter subsided. The rising moon shined down on them. The air was filled with the drifting aroma of flowers. Crickets were beginning to chirp.

 

“Hey, Ryan,” Shane said softly, as he stared into Ryan’s eyes.

 

“Yeah?” Ryan replied.

 

“There’s still a few hours left of Valentine’s. If you maybe wanted to grab dinner, maybe we could, um, maybe—" he struggled.

 

“Are you asking me to be your Valentine’s?” Ryan finished for him.

 

He nodded sheepishly.

 

“I’d love to.”

 

Shane’s face broke into that smile that Ryan loved so much. Ryan sighed happily.

 

 _‘This might just be the best Valentine’s Day yet,’_ he thought as the gap between them slowly drew to a close.

 

_FIN._


End file.
